Absorbing the blow

If you’re checking in to find out what time our flight to Phoenix is, or maybe whether or not we are already there, then I am going to disappoint you in today’s update.  More than once.

I am blogging from my living room, as is customary.  Which on the surface means that we haven’t gotten a call to come to Arizona.  But, unfortunately for us, it may mean much, much more.

As I was about to get in the truck to head to the school prom Saturday night, my phone buzzed, and showed the number of our Arizona case worker.  I looked at Jaclyn and answered the call, only to not hear what I figured would be an order to head west.  After a few moments on the phone with her, we know less about the status of this adoption than we did thirty minutes before, in theory.

First, the agency tried calling Tiffany sometime early Saturday morning.  When they did get someone on the phone, not only was it not her, but the person who did answer informed them that Tiffany had already given birth and promptly hung the phone up.  (I started to give you all the details in one paragraph, but chew on that for a second.)

Then, when Tiffany’s case worker visit the home, the birth father met her at the door and after what I can surmise was a very brief conversation, slammed the door in her face, thus ending that encounter as well.

At the end of a fifteen minute phone call, we were now in a different place.  And, I was silly enough to ask the question, “In your professional opinion, where are we, what is your advice, or what does this mean for us?”  Her answer was (for once) blunt and honest – two traits I appreciate: “From where we stand today, it is unlikely that this will work out the way you want it to.”

Sooooooooo. . . . . . .

If you saw me at prom last night and I didn’t act as cordially as I might usually, or danced (no pun intended) around adoption questions, my mind was still swimming a little.  Or, if you asked about the adoption today at church but didn’t get definitive answers from me then either, we were still trying to get a grip on where we were emotionally today.  We also didn’t want to share this story until we could digest it all ourselves, to be honest, or at least figure out how to talk to our three kiddos about it.

But, we know a couple of things could be happening with Tiffany and those around her.  First, she may not have a say in who is answering the phone or door right now, regardless of whether or not she has given birth.  If she has, the agency will hopefully find out tomorrow which hospital she went to  (assuming she did actually do that).  If she has not, one would think she would have to go to one eventually (though many sitcoms over the years have pulled off the emergency delivery – I watched Andy Griffith do just that the other day).

Second, she could very well have given birth, have slipped through the agency’s watch care, and have changed her mind on adoption as an option.  I could completely understand that sentiment, just envisioned a less shady method in letting us know.  But also, she met with her case worker on Wednesday, who said she “looked very pregnant,” but had tons of clothes on.  So, she either was hiding the fact that she wasn’t pregnant anymore, or is still waiting to deliver.

Can I just stop for a minute and say this?

Are.  You.  Freakin.  Kidding.  Me.

Who does this happen to?  No one.  That’s who. The agency in Arizona has never heard of a mother that they are unsure whether or not has given birth in this proximity to her due date.  We spoke to our agency in Tennessee who did our home study (and have been invaluable in the way of Christian advice and counsel) and they have never heard of such a dramatic set of events either.  Yes, sometimes birth mothers disappear, but not this late in the game.  And she met with her case worker on Wednesday.  Four days ago.  Did I mention that?

But, after absorbing the punch last night (not at the prom – I only drank water), and then riding a wave of emotions this morning at church, here is where we are:

1.  We are worried for this little baby.  It may very well still be God’s plan that this little guy is the next Scott, or maybe not.  If so, then someone better get their crap together, because that’s my son.  If not, then what a mess this baby has been born into.

2.  We are still very concerned for Tiffany.  She either has more emotional and societal issues than one could shake the proverbial stick at, or she is a victim in a very tumultuous string of relationships and events.

3.  We know that we will take a substantial financial hit if this adoption falls through, but have faith that God will not lead us somewhere that He does not intend to see us through.

4.  We still know that we are called to adopt and want the child that God has chosen for us, be it this little boy or not.  We just would like to either hit the full steam ahead button, or get some closure to move on.

We are so thankful for all of you that are in constant prayer for the Scotts.  We covet your partnership in this way, and hope that it continues.  While we want to selfishly pray that this baby end up in our arms very soon, we are resigned to and satisfied with praying instead for God’s sovereignty to reign, and that our intended son (or daughter) be the baby that we end up with, not just the next one we come across.  We do pray that if it is this baby, that doors will open, people will be put in the right places, and legalities will have all “i’s” dotted and “t’s” crossed in an unexplainable manner.

So, feel free to send us a text, tweet, Facebook message, call, etc., of encouragement.  It does help more than you may know.  But, more importantly, just continue to pray.

But even when I go through the dark valley, I fear no danger for You are with me.  Your rod and staff, they comfort me.  -Psalms 23:4

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