When last I left you hanging, it was to request prayer for Tiffany, our future son’s birth mom. We were scheduled to meet with her over a week ago and try to begin to forge a relationship with her, hopefully easing her anxiety about who would be adopting her baby.
We got a call just before lunch that day saying that she wasn’t feeling well, and that they would have to cancel our scheduled call. We were disappointed, of course, but tried not to read too much into it, and continued to pray for both her mental and physical health.
We rescheduled for earlier today, 5:00 p.m. our time, which is two hours ahead of Phoenix time. Jaclyn and I waited for the call. . . . and waited. . and waited some more. We checked in after 15 minutes and were told that Tiffany and the birth father were in a counseling session and to give them another 20 minutes or so. After that time had passed, plus another ten minutes, we got another call from our case worker in Arizona. This time, it was to say that the counseling session was still underway and that they would need to cancel out on a Skype session again. And, that they would let us know if and when we might set up another time.
This whole process is uncharted waters for us, as it no doubt is for any first-time adoptive parents. As soon as every step has passed, we think to ourselves, “man, I wish we had known what we know now.” Not that anything has gone egregiously wrong, but it feels like parenting in general. There just is no manual for this. I can’t think of anything else I have done in my 35 years has come close to being more of a step of faith than this process. Human nature is to have control of things, take it by the reins, and at least have some say in how it plays out. Well, we are far from that. And the thing that we remind ourselves is. . . this isn’t about us. Not even close.
So, what is it about? One thing – being obedient to God. His plan is perfect, and His results will be perfect. My personality is that I don’t like to yield to what someone else thinks or says. I have been an assistant coach before and played that role to the best of my ability. But, thought the whole time about how I could do it much better if I were in charge. Whether or not that was true didn’t matter to me, I just didn’t like sitting in the back seat at the mercy of someone else’s way of doing things. So, God is addressing that little deficiency right now. Being obedient to Him doesn’t mean He hands you the keys to the driver’s seat or even the map of how you’re going to get there. He asks for us to be totally, fully dependent on Him – which is where we are now. It’s where we have to be to keep our sanity.
We talked to our caseworker again just before bedtime tonight for a final update. Bottom line – Tiffany is struggling. She is 36 weeks pregnant, closing in on her due date, and ashamed in herself for having decided to not keep her baby. Of course, this emotion isn’t justified. For a mother to decide that the best thing for her baby is that someone else take the responsibility to raise it, especially someone that she doesn’t know, is extremely courageous. It shows that she loves this child so much that she wants what is best for him, even if right now the best thing may be to be raised by someone else.
So, our prayer this weekend is for her. We pray that she encounters people in the coming days that have the right things to say to encourage her, comfort her, and reassure her. We pray that she continue to love the baby so much that she take care of herself physically as well as becoming more and more comfortable with her decision mentally. And, finally, that she know that she has made the right decision, not only in the decision of adoption itself, but also in the one where she chose our family.
Also, Jaclyn had a great idea that we are running with. We want everyone that is following, praying for, and supporting our adoption process to join us in providing a great support circle example for our baby later in life. We want everyone to wear the same t-shirt the day he is born, take your picture, and send it to us. Jaclyn will take those and show him just how large the circle of prayer and support was, before he was even born or before any of you got to meet him. So, we have designed a shirt, with help from our friend Tim Bell at Bell Shirt and Sign, that we want as many of you as we can to have and participate. At the same time, selling the shirts will help us offset a little of the adoption costs. So, if you are interested in joining our efforts, contact either Jaclyn or Greg with size(s). If you purchase one shirt, they are $20. But, if you order three (3) or more, they are $15 each. The shirt below is exactly what they will look like. We will take orders until April 2nd, so that we can get the order in plenty of time for even an early birthday. If you can’t do that, then we still covet your continued prayer support.
We are thankful for all of the kind words from all of our friends and family and do appreciate when you ask how things are going. Thank you for taking this journey with us. And continue to pray alongside us.
“I can do nothing on my own. I judge only as I hear, and my judgment is righteous, because I do not seek my own will, but the will of Him who sent me.” – John 5:30