Jaclyn and I get asked often how the adoption is going, or where we are in the process, etc. If you’re someone that asks, we don’t mind at all (even though I technically haven’t blogged in a couple of weeks, the update on the adoption is pretty current, by the way), and in fact love to hear how different families or individuals are praying for us in specific ways. So, even though you can read here to find out the latest, feel free to ask anytime. But, we have found that this type of adoption is a series of bursts, at least up to this phase in the process anyway.
From the beginning, we contacted the agency and rushed to get all of the application paperwork in. . . .then waited a few weeks to get a date set to start the home study. Then we hurriedly put together the required paperwork – background, jobs, finances, family – hurried again to complete online coursework before our second home study meeting. . . .then waited two more weeks for a finished product. As we described in an earlier blog, we were leisurely putting together the “perfect” profile book of the Scotts when an adoptive situation that fit our description posted, so we scrambled to polish it off and send it in. . . . only to not be selected, then wait three weeks before another would pop up – which is where we now find ourselves.
For only the second time since our home study was completed at the end of September, we have thrown our hat in the ring for an adoptive birth mother to consider. Our odds go up this time, only because this particular mother has decided to use only the agency that did our home study to place the child, which means the pool of potential adoptive parents goes way down, probably to under thirty families/couples. Jaclyn completed and ordered final copies of our profile book weeks ago. We flipped through them, decided they were fine, and put them back in the original box instead of sending them in as we were supposed to. Until Tuesday, when this second situation popped up. Which meant Jaclyn went in on Wednesday to pay for overnight mail to get our books in the case worker’s hand before she met with the mother over the weekend. And now we are back in a holding pattern, waiting for days/weeks to hear back that we were not selected. . . . or by getting a call that perhaps we were. Either way, the hurry up and wait pattern continues.
We have been remarkably patient through the entire process, especially for those of you that know either Jaclyn or me (or both) really well. We told ourselves from the start that God’s plan could be that a baby to arrive in our home before Christmas this year. . . or before Christmas in 5 years. We are guessing the answer is somewhere in between, but it has helped not to fret as much keeping that mantra in mind. Connecting this to something I mentioned in the first paragraph, I was enlightened earlier this week as to how a good friend has been praying for us. He told me that, from the very beginning, he has not prayed for what he thought others were probably considering for us (healthy baby, smooth process, speedy process, etc). Not that he was wishing the opposite, but that he felt led to pray for us to have patience with the entire process. Multiple thoughts rushed to mind when he revealed that to me. First, was the realization that we really had been pretty patient so far, and maybe it was (at least in part) a credit to his prayers. But, that was really the only positive thing I could think of.
For as long as I can remember, we are warned not to pray for patience. The argument being that God would enhance that part of your personality by testing it. How to you increase physical strength? You lift heavier and heavier things to build muscle. How do you become more intelligent? You read, research, listen, and try to pump more knowledge into your brain. Well, to “strengthen” patience, you must have a reason to show patience, so you don’t really want to pray for that. I’ve read about Job, and just don’t do well with mass killing of all those whom I love, boils on my skin that hurt to the marrow (how do you go to the doctor with that conversation? Dr: “Where does it hurt the worst?” Me: “You know, Doc, the marrow inside my bones? It’s killing me.”), and friends who are no help whatsoever.
I immediately thought of our last several weeks as a family when he told me he had been praying for us in this way. I will just give you a list, without expounding on them, of the physical ailments that have hit members of the Scotts since the end of September:
Sept. 24: Jaclyn – treated for a tick-bite induced sickness
Sept. 26: Gabe – stomach bug
Oct. 3: JP – Pneumonia
Oct. 5: Jaclyn – stomach bug
Oct. 7: JP – Given steroid to decrease white blood levels
Oct. 10: Kara – 104.5 fever – Strep throat
Oct. 19: Gabe – stomach bug
Oct. 22: JP – stomach bug, then Kara – stomach bug (approx. 3 hours apart)
Oct. 24: Greg – Nausea/fatigue (virus)
Oct. 25: Kara – Came home not feeling well (stomach) from camping
Oct. 26: JP – Stomach bug
Needless to say, we were not disappointed to turn our calendar over to November. And, on the other hand, I’m looking for a way to “pray specifically” for Jeromy Davidson, my “friend” who prayed for our patience. Apparently it worked, as we attended school, went to work, shuffled from soccer and football practices and games, and church on Wednesdays and Sundays. I didn’t say we all made it to all of those, and we are blessed to live in the same town with two sets of awesome grandparents who love these three and will pick them up, drop them off, or just sit on them whenever. But, hopefully, we are through the storm with stronger immune systems to show for it.
In the meantime, the rest of you can pray that this birth mother will select the couple or family that God has already chosen for her unborn child, to give her a peace with the process and her decision, and that the adoptive parents are already willing to say “yes.” We hope that’s us, but are at peace knowing that our child is waiting for us even if we don’t know when. It’s hard to root really hard for this one to be “the one” for us, knowing that there are couples out there who cannot physically have children, or are adopting for other similar reasons. But, God’s plan is so much smarter than ours that we will rejoice when the decision has been made on this child and others in the future, regardless of when our name gets called.
Also in the meantime, if you have ideas on how we can pray for the Davidson family. . . I am all ears.
Rejoice in hope; be patient in affliction; be persistent in prayer – Romans 12:12